Thursday, July 19, 2012

Can I Trade Dreams With You?



So last night I had another one of my crazy pants pregnancy dream nights, where I basically felt submerged in a David Lynchian world for the eight hours I was in bed. Now normally, I wouldn’t mind being stuck in a wonderworld of red velvet curtains and ambient noise-music, but the dreams I was having were just NO GOOD.
The dream I remember the most (you know, the kind of dream that just sticks to you like glue, even after you wake, and you go around the whole next day in a foggy, “did-that-really-happen” headspace) was about my husband leaving me, and taking Em with him, and it was SO freaking sad that I woke myself up crying. I remember during part of the dream I was at my grandparents’ former house in Long Island (only it wasn’t QUITE my grandparents’ home, because the staircase was a lot more twisty/scary), and I kept trying to call C (who had already left me heartbroken) on these various cell phones I was finding all around the house. None of the cell phones would work correctly! Each button I pressed came out a different number or a letter, which made it totally impossible for me to ever reach C. Then I heard my grandmother talking on the phone in a different room in a quiet tone.  When I found her (after an unnecessarily long search), I asked who she was speaking to and she said she was talking to Emmy. I basically lunged at the phone, grabbing it out of my grandmother’s hands, but when I put it to my ear, I could only hear a dial tone. At that moment I was overwhelmed with this complete feeling of dread, like I had lost my husband and daughter forever. That’s when I woke myself up in a fit of tears.
Yuck! I mean, seriously, brain. Can’t you be a little more kind to me? I’ve only got, like, four hours per night of good sleep these days, between Emmy’s waking, and my constantly needing to get up to pee, and adjusting my blankets to accommodate my ever-changing body temperature. It would be nice if you would just throw me a bone and let me have dreams about pastel ponies and balloon rides and enormous bowls of cereal.
So, folks, did you have a particularly good dream last night that you might be willing to trade with me? I’m hoping you might be able to give my brain some less disturbing thoughts to work with tonight, during my four good hours of sleep. J

7 comments:

  1. I don't think you are alone with this phenomenon. I typed "bad dreams" in Google and "bad dreams in pregnancy" was one of the suggested search terms. Therefore, lots of people are searching the same thing. I just read something (which I don't remember in full) about bad dreams being 1) a release of stress that can't/isn't released otherwise, 2) almost always involves people we know, and 3) has no basis in reality or the things we might really be worried about in our conscious thoughts.

    But, I know when I have bad dreams they usually involve some disappointment/disaster with those whom I trust the most (except the one where I had some problem with my sister and ended up digging my nails deeply into the man sleeping next to me.

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    1. yeah, i've definitely heard that dreams can be super intense with pregnancy. i remember having very vivid dreams when i was pregnant with Em, but not particularly negative dreams, per se. glad to hear that dreams have no relation to things we might really be worried about consciously. c and i are doing beautifully, and i think its silly that my sleepy mind is so anxious about losing him and/or Em!
      on the bright side, i don't think my dreams have resulted in my causing harm to the person sleeping next to me, but i haven't dreamt about fighting with either of my sisters in quite a long time :)
      i love you,
      d

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  2. I hope your dreams get better soon!

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    1. Thanks! Last night I dreamt that I was in college again, but I couldn't remember my class schedule so I just kept skipping classes. Then there was this fantastic art gallery opening (of the work that students in the college had done), which included a huge smorgesbord of food. :) Skipping classes kind of made me anxious, but all the delicious food definitely made it a decent dream. :)

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  3. I wish you sweet dreams the next time you're in slumberland!

    Hi! Stopping by from MBC. Great blog!
    Have a nice day!

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    1. Thanks so much for stopping by, and for your very kind words! Definitely working on getting my dreams to be a bit more uplifting! :)

      Have a fabulous day,
      d

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  4. Oh my goodness I feel for ya! I had the weirdest dreams during both my pregnancies actually they started before I even found out I was pregnant! Yours sounded more like a nightmare! I was constantly waking up mad at my husband for things he really didn't do :) poor guy!

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