Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Not-So-Great Expectations

Me and the hubby, pre-first-pregnancy, living life to its fullest.
So silly. So crazy. So UNpregnant.

Pre-pregnancy, I had certain expectations for what I should accomplish in any given day. For instance, I tried most days to get to the gym, or to at least go for a walk outside on my lunch break. I would try to look semi-presentable at all times. I would aim to eat healthy meals, and not survive on coffee alone.  I would try to post a blog on an almost daily basis. These were basic expectations, nothing too lofty, extravagant or ambitious. If I met these expectations, I would be able to check that day off as a “good day”.

Now?

Oh, how things have changed…

I’ve come up with a short list of my new expectations. Because now, at five months pregnant, it’s a good day when:

·         I don’t throw up all over the passenger seat of our car on my way into work (grabbing huge wads of baby wipes to try and contain the disaster area)

·         I manage to bring all of Emmy’s belongings, and Emmy, into her daycare without spilling several items onto the sidewalk on our way into the building (yeah, I’m a little off balance these days)

·         I walk up the two flights of stairs at work without becoming completely breathless

·         I don’t yell at anyone in a sudden burst of pregnancy hormonal-ness “You think YOU’VE got problems??? Is there a small being growing inside you, kicking your ribs every few minutes? Is a wee little alien doing cartwheels in your lower regions? No, I didn’t think so!”

·         I cough or sneeze and DON’T pee in my pants (yes, I am doing my kegels)

·         Emmy doesn’t try to kill her baby-brother-to-be by jumping on or kicking my tummy

·         A person doesn’t gasp when I tell them my huge belly is only five months preggers  (yup, lady. That’s right. I’ve got another 120 days to go. And yes, I am SURE it’s not twins).

·         I don’t accidentally drop mustard from my lunch sandwich onto my shirt, making my belly look like a big bullseye

·         I manage to poop without feeling like I am going to birth this baby right into the toilet (sorry, that’s probably TMI)

·         I can watch a tv commercial that has anything very cute (a baby, a bunny, a baby bunny, etc.) without crying

·         I DON’T secretly wish my husband was the one who was pregnant, so I could drink a very large glass of wine

And let’s face it. It’s only going to get better. Cause I know that in four months time, my expectations for a good day are going to look something like this:

·         Get more than three hours of sleep at night (not necessarily in a row)

·         Say at least one coherent sentence every 10 – 12 hours

·         Take a two minute shower at least once every two days. Ok, maybe every three days.

·         Remember my name

·         Wear something other than a bathrobe (especially when traveling outside the house)

So, what are YOUR expectations for a good day?

15 comments:

  1. Oh sweetie. I wish I could carry Monkey for you so you didn't have to do all that. Please please please let me know how I can help. I know you say there isn't anything to do, but I know there is.

    And when Monkey gets here, I'll come over at lunch so you can take a half hour shower at least once a week. And talk to you and require complete (if short) sentences. Love you. So very much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, don't be silly! I'm doing fine - this is all just par for the course with pregnancy. Seriously, I've got this thing in the BAG! :)
      That having been said, if you can make me a t-shirt that says, "I'm only five months pregnant, and it's not twins," that might be very helpful! :)

      Delete
    2. Your wish is my command my dear. <3

      Delete
  2. "I manage to poop without feeling like I am going to birth this baby right into the toilet." Haha! I just told my husband that I was afraid to poop these days for fear I'd get up and find our daughter swimming in toilet water.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad I am not alone on this one! On the bright side of things, I've had many a woman tell me that giving birth can feel much akin to having a really really big bad poop. Therefore, I prefer to see my trips to the bathroom as practice sessions! :)

      Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting, Ashley!

      d

      Delete
  3. Seriously. Why can't husbands understand that we'd love a margarita at the end of the day too! Don't rub it in by drinking it in front of me! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, with our first pregnancy, my hub definitely did NOT get it, and would have lots of tasty looking beers and other yummy drinks in my begrudging company (I was always the designated driver, of course...rrrrgh).

      This time around C's been a lot more sensitive (or sensible :)and hasn't been flaunting his libations in my face. And I've been SO GOOD about not drinking at all, but there have been quite a few warm summer nights when I would have given my right arm for a glass of white wine.

      Ah well.. there will be plenty of time to kick back and relax.. in thirty years, when I'm retired. :)

      d

      Delete
  4. This is so true but now I honestly welcome the lack of sleep a Newborn brings rather than the lack of sleep a whale sized body brings! Thanks for stopping by my page yesterday, catching up! SO very nice to meet you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed - so far (fingers crossed) my body has cooperated in letting me sleep, even with my enormous belly, but I know those days are numbered!
      Great meeting you, too, and glad to be following your blog!

      d

      Delete
    2. Me too Mary! Last week I was a massive whale with no energy - a week later with my wee girly waking me up all hours and I'm a ball of energy!

      Delete
  5. Hahaha. SO funny and So true. I had no idea how easy life was before motherhood! Can't wait to read more! I'm stopping by from the TGIF Blog Hop and am now a new follower:) Would love for you to stop by Crazy Mama Drama!
    http://crazy-mama-drama.blogspot.com/
    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Crazy-Mama-Drama/259491484156846

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Brooke! So sorry it took so long for me to respond (was throwing a wedding shower for my bff, which swallowed my weekend whole :)
      Yeah, life was super super easy before having kids. Every once in a while I wish I could press the rewind button so I could go back and really, truly appreciate the life I was able to lead as a non-parent. But then I realize I wouldn't have Em around to entertain me and make me laugh and give me big hugs, and I realize how much better I have it now. :)
      I will definitely stop by Crazy Mama Drama (sure I can relate!) and will follow.
      Big hugs,
      d

      Delete
  6. I love your-not-so-great expectations - although be glad it's only been pee when you laugh and sneeze... very glad!:-O

    Just had my wee girly on Monday - my detailed birth account is on the Mommy Brain Mixer so stay clear if you don't want the nitty gritty... (I always liked hearing the nitty gritty;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, you KNOW I will be going to check out your birth story, and all the nitty gritty details, for sure! Being preggo, I love hearing what other moms have gone through in their deliveries - the good, the bad, and the not-so-pretty. I'll be tuning in!

      Thanks so much for stopping by!
      d

      Delete
  7. HAHAHAHAH! So true. Well, I only have one, with no plans for another any time soon, but I remember when she was a newborn and showering was a distant memory. I also remember trying to fill out the form to get her birth certificate, and despite the fact that it was a reaaaallly simple form, I could not wrap my head around it. It's like I was reading the words, but they were not entering my brain. Now that she's ten months old and sleeping well, things are obviously A LOT better, but I'm convinced I still have "baby brain" and I will continue to use this excuse for a very long time. Possibly forever.

    ReplyDelete