Note: I feel like I should apologize in advance, because this is the third post in a row that is rather complainy. Normally, I really do try to keep a positive outlook on life, and I see my blog as a way of sharing my joy with others.
But I also don’t want to make stuff up, or pretend things are better than they are. I’ve had a tough week. So I ask that you just bear with me, and put up with my stink for a little while longer. I’m really hoping that things will start looking up in a few weeks…
So I had a little meltdown on Saturday.
I was watching Emmy by myself, which was no easy feat, given that my hormones are raging and my morning sickness is REALLY round-the-clock-holy-crap-could-I-be-any-more-miserable sickness. I did my best to be a good mama, and tried to enjoy my time with my daughter, but I ain’t gonna lie. It was a huge challenge. By 9:00 am I was ready for a three hour nap, and Emmy wasn’t exactly thrilled with the thought of curling up next to me on the couch to read books. So we did what she wanted to do, and ran around outside (she ran, I kind of hobbled), played in the dirt, and sprayed each other with water. It was fun-ish. It would have been more fun if I hadn’t felt like throwing up the entire time.
Around 10:30 am, I decided I needed to floss my teeth. When I did, part of my upper molar (way in the back) came off of my tooth as if it were a piece of food. Snap! I DO have a really big filling in that tooth, and it had been bothering me for a quite a few days, but I had thought maybe I just had a piece of food lodged way deep between my teeth. Guess I was wrong.
So I freaked out a little and called my dentist’s office, even though I was well aware that because it was a Saturday, no one would pick up the phone. The voicemail message provided the emergency number of another local dentist, who just happens to be a family friend. I immediately called the dentist and set up an appointment to see him that afternoon (I apologized profusely for ruining his weekend plans). I then called my mother-in-law and asked her if she could watch Em while I went to the appointment (and apologized profusely for ruining her weekend plans).
I was a little nervous about what was going to happen at the dental appointment. You see, I have this nasty case of Vasovagal Syncope, which basically means that any time my body experiences sudden, unexpected pain, or any time I see my own blood, I feel like I am going to faint, and then, just before I am about to faint, I throw up all over the place and subsequently feel better. At the last dental appointment I had, they had to give me laughing gas or something just to calm me down so they could finish what they were doing. It’s not just dental work that sends me for a loop. I’ve had incidents where just hitting my funny bone was enough to make me feel faint and pukey. Fun times.
So when the dentist on Saturday started yanking at the part of my tooth that had broken off (with no novicane administered prior to the pulling), I knew it wasn’t going to end well. I tried telling the dentist I was hurting, but apparently he didn’t hear me. About two minutes later, the room started spinning, my ears started ringing, and all of the blood in my body started pooling in my lower extremities. The dentist leaned me back in my chair, patted my cold clammy brow with a wet wash cloth, and told me to breathe deeply. I couldn’t breathe deeply (try as I did), but I DID manage to sit up and vomit all over his room (I even filled up the dental spittoon).
I kept apologizing for my behavior. I felt so bad for dragging him in on a Saturday, ruining his weekend, and then throwing up all over all of his dental equipment. After he (very quickly) finished my dental work, I asked him if I could help him clean up the mess. He said no, that this kind of thing happens in his line of work all the time (but probably not on a Saturday, with only him in the office). He told me just to make sure I was ok to drive myself home. I have a feeling he just wanted to get me out of the office as fast as humanly possible.
When I arrived home, Emmy of course wanted to jump immediately into my arms and play with me. After the whole dental incident, and the exhausting morning, and with my general state of being so sub-par, all I could do (after my mother-in-law had left) was hold Em in my arms and cry. And cry. And then I called my older sister and cried some more.
My husband, bless his soul, volunteered to take Emmy out to see a hockey game that evening, so I could just sit and cry by myself, and get some rest. A long night’s sleep was a real gift. I felt only semi-run-over-by-a-truck on Sunday.
I have another dental appointment on Thursday to follow up on my cracked tooth. I swear, if the dentist starts pulling any suspicious tools out of his drawer, I'm just gonna gather up my belongings and run out of the building. Screw it. My body can only take so much craziness.