Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Our Pediatrician Needs A Frequent Flyer Program


“Are you kidding me, Em? Are you really sick AGAIN? You’ve gotta be kidding me. Is your nose seriously runny? Did I just hear you cough? Please tell me you’re kidding… Ugh. You just threw up on my shoe. So I guess you’re not kidding, huh?”
I’m pretty sure Em finished her strep throat antibiotics prescription thirteen seconds ago. Apparently, when the germies found out she was momentarily healthy, they held a press conference for the rest of the germs in the Capital District area, which has resulted in my daughter once again being ill.
I was warned by many a parent that daycare is a cesspool of sickness, and that our family would likely get a fair share of colds and other viruses during her first year of exposure to other kids. But what our family has experienced is in no way a “fair share”. I’d say it’s more of a “monopoly”.
I’m pretty sure that in the past three months, I have spent more lunch hours visiting our pediatrician than I have spent eating a sandwich (you know it’s bad when your doctor greets you with, “what is it THIS time?”). Each time we visit, I feel like I have to apologize profusely to the nurses and doctor. I feel like they must think I am an incompetent mama who never washes her daughter’s hands.  I swear I try to do my part to keep Em healthy, but in the mama vs. germies battle, I always seem to come out the big time loser.
Which is why, when I take Em to the doctor this afternoon, I am going to ask that they enroll me in a frequent flyer pediatrician program. If I am going to be using their services so often, it would be nice to get a few “perks” for all my patronage.
Here is what I propose:
·         Each time I bring my daughter in with a runny nose and a cough that turns out to be JUST a runny nose and a cough, I accumulate 5 points.
·         Each time I bring my daughter in with a runny nose and a cough that turns out to be strep throat, I accumulate 15 points.
·         Each time I bring my daughter in with a runny nose and a cough that turns out to be an ear infection, I accumulate 25 points (if you knew how hard it is to try and get my daughter to take the gawdawful ear-infection fighting antibiotic, you would understand why this deserves so many points).
·         Each time I bring my daughter in with a runny nose, a cough, and a mysterious rash, I accumulate 30 points (with 20 bonus points if the rash turns out to be something serious).
And so on, and so forth. I propose that at the end of the year, I would be able to turn in all of my points for a relaxing day at the spa, or a vacation for three to a germ-free far-away island.
It’s not that I need extra incentive to pay more frequent visits to the pediatrician. I just feel that if I am going to be taking Em to see her doctor every Tuesday and Friday afternoon, there should be a reason for me to LOOK FORWARD to these visits, rather than just dreading the diagnosis.
There is, of course, a slight chance that Em’s pediatrician won’t be enthusiastic about my proposed program. If that happens, I think I will take my idea to Em’s daycare, and ask them for an INFrequent Flyer program, which rewards parents whose children spend 75% of their school days at home, in bed, hopped up on Tylenol. Maybe THEY will go for the idea.

9 comments:

  1. Have you looked into how well the daycare center cleans things? My daughter caught the occasional cold when in a commercial center, but over three years, she was only doctor-worthy sick maybe four times...

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    1. Thanks so much for commenting! The daycare is very well-reputed, and I see cleaning crews going around all of the center's rooms at the end of the day. We've had a really mild winter this year, and some folks believe that because it hasn't gotten much below freezing for more than a few days, many of the germs that are normally killed off have thrived. Emmy is moving to a new daycare room with new (more) kids next week, and I am wondering if that might help or hinder our situation (I am skeptical)... If this continues to be an issue, I may talk to the director of the center to see if they can look into the cleaning of toys, etc. Many thanks for your suggestion.

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  2. This makes me laugh so hard because I can sympathize completely! I have two bottles of Amoxicillin, one for each kid, sitting in my fridge right now. Last Monday, I signed my five year old in at the front desk for a well child five year check-up, and we came home with a presciption for strep throat. By Friday I was back again, and my youngest one came home with a prescription to treat an ear infection. I told the nurse he must have been jealous of his big brother or something. Ha!

    BTW, I left a comment on your post regarding SAHM envy. :) LOVED that so much!

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    1. OMG, your comment made me laugh. NOT that it is AT ALL funny that both of your children are on Amoxicillin :) But it IS kind of funny (in a unique mama-sense-of-humor kind of way) that you went to the doctor expecting a normal wellness check-up and left with a prescription. I can SO relate. I thought about bringing a cot or a sleeping bag with me to today's appointment, because I am pretty sure Em and I will be back in their office in a few days. Why not just save money on gas by parking my car permanently in their parking lot? ;)
      So happy you've found my blog, and that you took the time to comment!
      d

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  3. Aw my little buddy is sick again? Poor buddy (and poor you! I hope you don't get it!) If she's getting strep a lot, I wonder if one of the kiddos or staff is a carrier and has it but is asymptomatic. Stuff goes around (I get my fair share from the kids at the pool!) but Em's been down so much. Good luck with your program doll.

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    1. Yeah, she's got a nose like a faucet and is coughing in my face (because she loves me THAT MUCH). I pretty much look at every one of the children and teachers in Em's daycare as a potential biohazard. The other day when I was dropping Emmy off, this mom came in with her son and said "I'm so GLAD he is finally over the Coxsackie Virus". I refrained from screaming "WHEN??? WHEN DID YOUR SON GET OVER THE VIRUS? ARE YOU SURE IT HAS BEEN 48 HOURS? PERHAPS YOU SHOULD KEEP HIM HOME ANOTHER DAY OR SEVEN???" But I am checking Em's feet and hands every day for signs of a rash. (sigh) You gotta love it.

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  4. This! So this! My daughter starts daycare at 5 months. 6 weeks later, I honestly think we have been home sick more then she has actually gone. I'm a nurse and she has managed to pick up things that I have gotten sick with. My mom (also a nurse), who kept her on Monday (because of the cough) is now down with ear & sinus infection and pink eye. Doc just says "it's daycare syndrome"

    I've started calling her "my little petri dish". However, we did dodge the chicken pox and hand, foot, mouth that she was exposed to as well. Gotta count your blessings...

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    1. It sounds like we've been through the same ordeal! Not only has Em been sick 89 out of the past 90 days :) but so have my husband, my mother-in-law (who watches Em three days a week), and I. The only one who has managed to escape the clutches of the daycare germies is my father-in-law, which makes me think that he may actually be Superman.

      I love the nickname "my little petri dish". It is SO appropriate! I hope you knocked on wood immediately after you mentioned dodging the bullet with chicken pox. ;)

      Every healthy day is a blessing, and I have never appreciated good health the way I do these days.

      Wishing you a very healthy spring! :)
      d

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  5. THIS is a great proposal! Haha. When you think that the battle against germs is overpowering you, you really need a vacation…and those germs need it too. Anyway, you can ask your pediatrician about supplements or vitamins that Em can take to help you protect her from germs. You can read about the same experiences with other moms so you’ll know how to cut the trips to the good doctor. =)

    Chalice Lindgren

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