The Wonder of Words and Wordlessness

Here's the thing. Before Emmy had words, I was absolutely ACHING for the moment she would be able to verbalize her needs. Parenting was primarily a guessing game,a la "Is Em hungry? Is she crying because she is thirsty? Because she is too hot? Because she hurt herself? Is it already time to change her diaper (again)?"

Now that Em has words, parenting has become a heck of a lot easier on so many levels. She tells C and I if she is hungry, what she is in the mood to eat, if she needs to go on the potty (most of the time), if she is looking for a specific toy, and of course she also shares her thoughts on the meaning of life (which include the importance of Elmo and gold fish crackers).

Granted, Em's vocabulary is still limited, and most of her words need mama or dada's keen ear and interpretation. "Slide" and "outside" sound remarkably similar. The way she says "Mickey Mouse" sounds more like "meeemowww". And it took C and I a good thirty minutes the other night to figure out that Emmy was saying "I want lunch" (she actually wanted dinner, but "lunch" has become a stand in for pretty much any meal). It sounded like "aahwahhhhlunnnnnnnnnn".

As much as I absolutely LOVE the fact that Emmy is communicating with us, I really kind of miss our wordless days. Just 6 months ago, our relationship relied heavily on silly sounds, grandiose hand gestures, and the interaction of our bodies. I could make Em laugh uncontrollably when I made sudden, low howls, like in this video from December:


Sometimes, I can still make her laugh like that with funny faces and silly noises. But most of the time we are too busy talking, singing, or engaged in some other form of verbal communication, to rely on a non-verbal, maybe somewhat more primal means of communicating.  And I know that with the end of nursing on the horizon, a HUGE part of our non-verbal communication is going to soon be a thing of the past.

Do I love Em's words, and her unique toddler vocabulary? Absolutely. Do I look forward to future intimate mama daughter talks that last for hours and hours? Yes, so very very much. But a little part of me will always miss baby Em's gurgles,giggles, squeaks,squeals, and other wordless wonders.

Emmy Sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

This would definitely qualify as one of those moments when my daughter's cuteness just floored me (and C, who took this video). Call me crazy, but I am pretty sure Em has a really fantastic ear for music for a 20 month old!

P.S. Have I Told You About the Time Emmy Fell Off Her Slide?

It just occurred to me that I never blogged about one of the scariest moments I have had as a parent thus far, which only took place a week ago... or was it two weeks ago? I can't even remember because I am trying to mentally block it out of my memory...
C bought Em this super little slide, perfect for a toddler (about 3.5 - 4 feet tall). We stationed it in our living room, so that she would have a way of playing and climbing and expending her crazy amount of energy indoors as well as outdoors. Em LOVES the slide. She uses it every single day.
About two weeks ago, the Saturday after C had brought the slide home and we had put it together, Em was climbing the slide steps for the umpteenth time while I waited for her at the bottom of the slide. She got to the top of the slide, got into sitting position, and then... somehow managed to fall backwards, right onto the floor.
I can't even begin to describe to you the fear and panic that overtook me. I ran to Em, of course, who was lying on her side and crying, and swooped her up in my arms. I totally ignored that voice in my head that told me NOT to pick her up just in case she had broken a bone or something. Em was definitely hurting BAD..  and then her body just kind of went limp, and her eyes rolled back in her head... and for about five very long seconds I totally thought that my lovely and beautiful daughter had died in my arms...
In those five seconds, the world stood still as I ran for the phone and dialed 91. With my hands shaking terribly, phone to my ear, I tried to jostle my daughter into consciousness.
Em's eyes opened a little, and she cried confusedly as I rattled away, half-screaming, half-crying, to the person who had answered my emergency call.
Within minutes, the paramedics had arrived, as did two police cars and some other sirened vehicle. In those two minutes, while I cried to Emmy to stay awake stay awake stay awake, I also called C, who happened to be just around the corner in his work van, and he rushed home. By the time everyone arrived outside our house, Em had calmed down, and even said "CARS!" when she saw all the lights and people on our driveway.
After explaining the situation to the paramedics, they advised us to take Em to the ER, especially since she still seemed a little out of it and sleepy. A few hours later, after some basic tests and an MRI, Em was declared "fine" by the doctors, and we were able to go home. They said that Em may have just lost her breath while screaming, which caused her to faint, or else her body just shut down momentarily due to the shock of the experience. Either way, it was definitely the best case scenario we could have wished for.
Having my daughter wilt in my arms was the most frightening thing I have encountered in a very very long time, if not ever. I just realized today that I have told none of my family members, or friends, or co-workers about the incident, which seems so weird, because I tell everybody everything about Emmy. I think I seriously was just trying to block it out. But it happened. I just pray that nothing like that ever happens again.