Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Sleeping Around

Wait! It’s not what you think! I haven’t decided to suddenly turn this mama blog into Fifty One Shades of Gray.

So... last night, at two in the morning, poor C stormed out of our bedroom.

You see, Emmy had kicked him (in her sleep) for like the 84th time. He couldn’t take any more beatings.

I felt horrible for him, of course. It’s no fun to be kicked in the stomach and back repeatedly, when all you want to do is rest and maybe dream a little.

After he left the room to go seek refuge in our tiny guest room, I started thinking about beds (it was two a.m. and my head was sleepy, so I wasn’t going to start thinking about nuclear physics).
I started thinking about all the beds I’ve slept in (again, not in THAT way). Then I started counting the number of places I’ve called home since I was born. 

There were some real winners among the bunch. Like the studio basement apartment I lived in when I got my first job after graduating from college. The place was the size of my thumbnail, reeked of auto exhaust fumes (the one tiny window in the apartment was in direct line with the complex’s driveway), and was directly across the hall from the laundry room, which meant that the “thunka thunka” of the dryer was the theme song of my existence.

There was the apartment out in LA that I shared with a spider enthusiast who enjoyed scaring me with his black widows and tarantulas. He also loved playing with fire (literally). And also dressed in women’s lingerie constantly  when he was stupid drunk. I never slept very peacefully in that apartment.

And there was the haunted house in Providence, Rhode Island. I’m not a believer in ghosts, or a watcher of Crossing Over with John Edwards, but I can say with reluctant certainty that the home had “visitors”. Want an example? One night I was sitting upstairs in my bedroom, when all of a sudden I smelled smoke. I ran downstairs to the kitchen and discovered all of the gas oven burners on FULL BLAST.  I was THE ONLY person in the house, mind you. Also, my bedroom looked like it was straight out of a David Lynch movie. It was totally spooky.

Anyways, when I was all done recalling my former abodes, I realized I have called at least 18 different places “home”.

That SEEMED like a lot to me. I mean, for someone whose parent wasn’t in military service, anyway.

But IS it a lot? Or, nowadays, with our nomadic, on-the-move culture, is that considered an average number of homes? 

I looked it up this afternoon, and it seems that according to three year old data from the U.S. Census Bureau , the average American moves 11.7 times in their lifetime.

So, yay, I’m above average. I’ve slept around more than the average American bear.

I know it’s going to sound sappy, but I kind of hope that this is it. That THIS house will be THE house, for me and for my family, for many many years to come. Because even though it is a small house, I love the walls we are decorating with Emmy’s artwork, and the basement that is being filled with boxes of past holiday memories.  I love sleeping in THIS bed, in THIS bedroom, with my son who sounds like a pterodactyl , my David Beckham-like daughter, and my poor sleep-deprived husband. This is my home. I love calling this home.


  1. I must be far above average then.. I counted when I was 16, and had moved 15 times. I'm now up to 21, and currently planning a move across country. My future moves will be because we are a military family--I wasn't growing up. But even a military family doesn't move as often as I did growing up! So that's a good thing for my kiddos! :)

    1. Wow! You HAVE moved a lot! Wondering how you are feeling about the next move, and the challenges that moving around as a family presents... I'll be signing up for your blog, and I look forward to reading about your future move and your family experiences. Many thanks again for finding me, and for taking the time to comment.

  2. You have me beat.I have only lived in 13 places since I was born not counting the collage years wher I can add to the count at least 3 more.Like you I hope to live here to the end. It is especially nice living so close to you , Chris and your wonderful children!

    1. For some reason I thought you had lived in more places than I had! Yes, living in this home has the HUGE perk of being within walking distance from you and Grampy. I know that the kids are going to think of your house as their second home!
      Big hugs,

  3. Hi Sweetie!
    I have lived such a sheltered life... I have only moved 8 times, one of those being from a 1st floor flat to the 2nd floor. And from one apt to one 3 houses away. We've been here for 23 years, and it's time to start planning to downsize. We. Have. So. Much. Stuff. As we found out this wknd, spent cleaning out stff from DH's office. If I had moved more frequently. I am sure I would have shed more 'stuff' as I went along.
    Gotta say, I spend so much time hitting preview, then edit, etc to fix misspelling s that it has kept me from commenting many times... Which makes me sad... I tend to read your blog from my iPad, not my desktop. Don't know if that would make a difference.
    Sending big hugs to you and the little precious ones!