Thank you, Angelina.

Because the first thing I thought, after hearing the news story about her elective double-mastectomy, was “if she can do it, I can do it.”

When I found out, back in November of 2011, that I have the BRCA-1 mutation, the  decision to opt for a preventative double mastectomy, followed by an oophorectomy, was pretty much a “no-brainer.” I had lost my mother to breast cancer earlier that year, and wanted to be pro-active in making sure I wouldn’t have to face what my mom had to face: a radical mastectomy, chemotherapy, brain surgery, medication upon medication, and eventually a very heart-breaking, very painful physical decline that preceded her death. I also wanted to do what I could to make sure I would be able to enjoy many years with my children, my husband, my extended family and my friends, without my life turning into a constant battle with a life-threatening disease.

A year and a half has passed since I received the results of my genetic testing. In that span of time, I got pregnant with my second child, had a second c-section, and have breast-fed my son for five months, all which have delayed any steps I can take toward having the surgeries. I have also had time to REALLY come to terms with the decision I am facing, the impact it will have on my body, my brain, and my heart, and have had lots of time to doubt my decision. Do I really want to put my body through yet another surgery? Do I really want to see MORE scars than I already do when I look in the mirror? Am I ok with completely losing feeling in my breasts? Am I okay with becoming post-menopausal in my early 40s? Or should I perhaps just be super-vigilant about self-monitoring, without opting for such a radical surgery?

It’s not an easy decision. But hearing about Angelina Jolie’s choice to get the preventative surgeries has been incredibly comforting. I mean, it’s Angelina Jolie! Never in a million years would I have thought that she and I would have much in common. But here we are, both 37 years old, both with mothers that have recently passed away from cancer, both having the BRCA-1 mutation, both having to decide what to do with the knowledge about our genetic makeup.

And, I mean, it’s Angelina Jolie! Lara Croft, Hollywood goddess, mother of eight billion children, Special Envoy of UN, wife of Brad Pitt! Every move she makes is watched, documented, praised or criticized. She is probably one of the only women in the world who would make international headlines for making this kind of decision public.

It’s not that Angelina’s decision makes my doubts go away. And it’s not that her opting for a double-mastectomy makes my choices any easier. This is still MY body, and MY decision to make.

But seriously, it is encouraging to know that if I DO choose to get the surgeries (which I in all likelihood will), I will be sharing my journey with a very beautiful, very brave, very public figure who chose to be proactive in making decisions about her health, her future, and her identity. Her statement, “I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity,” in turn empowers me to make my decisions without feeling like I will be losing my sense of self.  

If she can do it, I can do it.

So thank you, Angelina. 

Mama's Day 2013

Growing up, I always had a lot of anxiety when it came to Mother’s Day. As I have mentioned in previous posts, my mother wasn’t the easiest person to get along with, and definitely was not the easiest person to buy or make presents for. She RARELY was enthusiastic about the gifts my older sister and I would seek out for her, and on a few occasions she even returned the presents we got for her. It’s not like we didn’t TRY to get her great gifts. My sister and I would pool our allowances, and spend many hours at the mall debating over which scarf she would like best, which shirt was REALLY her favorite color, etc. But I hardly remember a time that my mom expressed excitement and enthusiasm over our choice of gift.

Cards, too, were an issue. We weren’t a Hallmark kind of a family. I don’t know if it was because bought cards seemed too generic, or were too expensive, or if my parents were simply trying to encourage us to be creative, but we ALWAYS had to hand-make our cards for holidays and celebrations. And along with the hand-made card, it was tradition in our family (and still is) that we write the card-receiver an epic tale describing in endless detail how much we appreciate that person, and why. A card is not complete unless the sentiment written inside it covers both interior pages and spills onto the back of the card, as well.

So not only was the gift-giving anxiety provoking, but the card-making part also made me panic (and still does).

Which is why now, being on the receiving-end of Mother’s Day, I plan on making a concerted effort to make the celebration as low-key and UNstressful as possible for my famil, and to ALWAYS, ALWAYS show my appreciation for ANY gifts or sentiments my loved ones give me.

C definitely made sure yesterday was celebratory (despite his exhaustion) and that we did the things that I wanted to do as a family, which was very sweet and very much appreciated.

Here are the things I MOST appreciated about the day, that made the day very special.

Despite the gloomy weather, we took Em and Oren to the nearby animal farm, where we went on two hayrides (with Oren wrapped up in my sweater looking very much like Obi Wan Kanobi), shared a delicious brownie, and got to see Emmy enjoy her first horse ride (!!) Em looked like such a big girl up on the horse, I couldn’t believe it. My heart melted a little (make that a lot), realizing how quickly she is growing up.

We enjoyed lunch together at Friendly’s, and Em shared her ice cream with both her Dada and I in a very generous way. AND Oren only cried maybe once during our entire meal, which made for a very peaceful, un-chaotic, lunch with two young children (a rare thing, indeed).

When we got back home, the sun was shining, so we took Em’s new tricycle (well, not new, exactly. I found it on sale for $7 at a garage sale, but as far as Em is concerned it is pink and purple and has a storage bin that holds her My Little Ponies and is therefore perfect) for a ride down to Baba and Grampy’s house. Em only started riding on a tricyle a few weeks ago, thanks to our friends Kelly and Wil, who gave us their grown-up-assisted tricycle that let Em practice her pedaling. But already, just a few weeks later, Em is becoming an expert-biker, with loads of confidence and enthusiasm. I am thrilled for her, and thrilled to see her gaining these new skills so quickly. I am also excited that when she falls off her bike, Em gets right back up, brushes herself off, and starts biking again. So proud!!!

My mother-in-law gave me these AMAZING photos she took of the kids, which made my heart so incredibly happy. I can’t decide whether I want to have the photos themselves blown up onto big canvases, or whether I want to try and find time to paint versions of them. Despite wanting very much to do the latter, I will probably end up doing the former, because if I wait to find time to paint these pictures, they likely won’t get done until my children have children of their own.

We were able to get the kids to sleep at a decent time, so C and I were able to enjoy playing a game together (being the nerdy board game enthusiasts that we are). I love my husband.

All in all, a great day. I am so grateful to be a mom, and to have such a wonderful, loving family. I hope all the mamas out there (including mommies of cats, dogs, goldfish, etc.) enjoyed their special day as well.

Recipe Share: My Mocha Nirvana

So the weather here in Upstate New York has been AMAZING this past week. It’s as if we are being rewarded for the extra long winter we’ve had – the skies are a cloudless, bright blue, the birds are chirping enthusiastically, even the grass seems to be celebrating.

I love Spring, for obvious reasons. I love the fact that I can now plan on going on a run/walk with my baby after work almost EVERY DAY this week. I love the fact that I can wear shoes without socks and not look like a freak anymore (I get strange looks when I go sockless on a -30 below zero day). I love the fact that sunny weather means guacamole can be used as a condiment on EVERYTHING. And I LOVE switching my morning pick-me-up from hot coffee to frozen coffee.

I’ve had quite the long love affair with cold coffee beverages. I was actually introduced to coffee via a pitcher of deliciously cold, insanely sweet iced coffee my college roommate used to make when the weather got warm. I was so enamored by the flavor that I pretty much gulped down the whole pitcher, not realizing the effect all that caffeine would have on me. Sure enough, 20 minutes later, I was inspired to clean our entire apartment. And then run five miles. And then clean our apartment again. From that moment on, I was hooked.

So, due to my enthusiasm for cold coffee, I thought it would be appropriate for me to share my current favorite blended iced coffee beverage (In my head, I call it Mocha Nirvana) as my first ever blog recipe. It’s actually pretty weird that it has taken me this long to share my secret food preparation strategies, seeing as I love to cook (and cooking pretty much goes hand-in-hand with mommying). Nonetheless, I’ve dawdled in that department. I kind of hope that sharing this very simple recipe will be a gateway drug to sharing more of my passion for cooking (especially since, in the near future, I should have a lot more time to cook for our family).

My first issue with most coffee-chain ice blended drinks is that the coffee element kind of separates from the icy part of the drink. The first part of the blended coffee drinking experience is wonderful, because you are slurping down a very delicious combination of concentrated coffee flavor and chocolate flavor or whatever else you’ve asked them to add in. But the second part of the drinking experience is disappointing, because you’re left with this flavorless, slushy mess that is not delicious at all.

My second issue with coffee-chain ice blended drinks is that they cost about $84 dollars a pop.

With this recipe, I’ve managed to address the slushy flavorlessness AND the crazy cost of those coffee-chain concoctions. My Mocha Nirvana is delicious from beginning to end, and won’t set you back more than a dollar per serving.

Oh, and have I mentioned it actually has nutritional benefits?

I won’t make you wait any longer. Here’s my recipe for one serving of Mocha Nirvana:

5 ice cubes of frozen double-strength coffee

1 cup of vanilla almond milk

1 Tbsp. of Chocolate Syrup

1 tsp. or more of chia seeds (the “superfood of the Aztecs”) – optional

1 Tbsp. of Enriched Infant Oatmeal Cereal (the “superfood of the babies”)

So all you have to do is brew up a double-strength pot of your favorite coffee, let it cool a little, and then pour it into ice cube trays to freeze. My husband and I keep a couple of trays of frozen coffee cubes in our freezer at all times now, so we can have our Mocha Nirvanas whenever we want.

Use 4 – 5 ice cubes per serving, adding in the vanilla almond milk (or vanilla soy milk, rice milk, cow’s milk… totally up to you), the 1 Tbsp. of chocolate syrup, the 1 optional teaspoon of chia seeds (they sell them EVERYWHERE now), and the 1 tablespoon of  infant oatmeal cereal (I confess, I happen to have this on hand in our house for my baby boy, and one day I just got creative and added it in to my blender. You could definitely just use plain old oats, if you prefer).

Of course, you can totally add in other ingredients as well, to suit whatever mood you are in. I’ve personally tried adding a banana (yum), a tablespoon of peanut butter (double yum), and yes, a scoop of ice cream (I deserved it)!

Blend all the ingredients together. Pour it into a tall glass and decorate the top of it with a teeny bit more chocolate syrup so that you feel like you have just spent $84 on this drink. Stick a straw in it. ENJOY THE DELICIOUSNESS as you sit on your porch or your green grass, thanking heaven that Spring has arrived.