Reflections on Two Years of Marriage

C and I are celebrating our anniversary today. Two years ago, C and I were surrounded by our friends and families as we read (and cried through) our vows, exchanged rings, danced our hearts out, and began our life together as husband and wife.

It kind of blows my mind, to be honest. On the one hand, it sort of feels like we’ve been together FOREVER already. Like, how could it ONLY be two years? We’ve been through so much together in 730 days (no, make that 731, because this year was a Leap Year): the birth of our daughter, the death of my mother, the deaths of two grandparents, buying and moving into a new home, a job change for me, two emergency room visits, two flights across country, about 962 illnesses (yes, I realize that is more than one illness per day, but I still think that is an accurate count), and now our second pregnancy. Whoooosh! It’s no wonder we are so exhausted!

And yet, on the other hand, sometimes it feels like we have JUST gotten married. Despite or maybe because of all the craziness we’ve been through, and all the “thick and thin” we’ve experienced in our brief time together, I still find myself just absolutely CRAVING time together with my husband.  I feel like we help each other with daily stresses (out-of-control laundry situation, work-day gone awry, a house in desperate need of cleaning), we are super partners in parenting, and we have been each other’s true supports through the challenges of the past years. But it feels like we’ve had maybe a week’s worth of non-stressful, non-parental, JUST US time in the past two years.

I am comforted greatly by the fact that C and I have gotten through the past two years without much fighting. I figure that if we could adjust, as a couple, to the myriad of life stresses and emotions that we’ve experienced these past two years, and come out on the other side still holding hands and kissing one another with love and passion, we’ve got a good thing going on.

Do I hope things get easier, and that the years ahead will be less stressful? Absolutely. Do I think they will actually BE less stressful? Very, very VERY doubtful. Because I know that raising two kids will be trying, and that our family will doubtless experience more grief, more stresses, more illness, and more unforeseen curveballs that will surely throw us for a loop.

I also know that our roles as parents will continue to eclipse our roles as wife and husband, and that C and I will need to make concerted efforts to find time and space to connect. JUST US. I know that is going to be key to keeping us strong and happy, and our family foundation strong and happy.

In our third year of marriage, I am going to make C and Me Time a priority. Even with the new baby’s arrival, and with the added responsibilities that will come with raising another child, I am going to make it my personal mission to make sure my husband and I get a date night every few weeks. Because I owe it to C, and I owe it to me, and I want to make sure that in another two years, as we celebrate our fourth anniversary, we are still holding hands and kissing one another with love and passion.